Some songs make me feel it's right. But some songs make me feel like I wanted to die. Though I become weak when I start to write, all those tears encourage me to fight. My Heart is like separated, my emotion got worse. There was a part in my life that I stayed in remorse, but when I start to realize, I think it's just right for my glorious and my happiness endeavors.
Sometimes I do regret that I have lost him. That I had let him go. And I've thought it was because of me why he felt that lack of affection. I know why he had chosen to leave me behind, because it says in the studies that men do make many reasons to stay out of the relationship when they feel they are already not admired.
Love Love Love, But I am okay now. I think if I had not lost him, I would never grow up mature and I would not realize more of the things around me. It is indeed true that we need space to grow up, no matter how painful it is to be apart from the person you've loved so, it is really a need for your own good. It is not that all beautiful things in life don't last. It's just that there are more beautiful things in life that you have not seen yet.
I thought he was the most beautiful gift that ever came into my life. I cried each day that times when I've realized that I can't have him back, my love gone. But when I started to live my life again, I have seen more than of a gift, but a LIFE and HAPPINESS.
At first, indeed, it was hard. Everything that I do, it reminds me of him and the times that we had. I had not seen the reason yet that time why those things had to happen. But I just try to stop blaming myself and go on. I studied hard enough to keep myself busy. I entered organizations in our school. And I was so relieved to feel so free. Free with no guilt in my heart. No guilt for I was not disobeying my parents anymore. No guilt for I was not immoral to the eyes of the people anymore. And free for I was doing the right thing now.
Emotion and Love caught me back, but though I had been feeling so lite, I cannot do away of missing something I use to live with, "I use to live for". I graduated with honors in high school, which I had lost since I was in the secondary level. My parents were so proud and I felt so confident for I was apparently on the right track. I had stopped my minor vices, I had avoided bad influences and now I am truly living.
Sometimes too much love could close our minds from possibilities. The love I had? It wasn't that easy to let go. We tried to rekindle our love too many times, but he, he had always said "it's not yet our time". I still can't understand what his words meant until now, but I believe, when we have to live our own lives first, we better accept the fact that there's more to prioritize first in our lives than our love for each other. I am proud that I have loved and met a guy like him. Although it was not a perfect and ideal relationship, it was such a meaningful one and worth pondering for.
And I believe that our choices in life will reflect how will our life turn out in the future. 'fate' do exists, we have two fates in this world. The meaningful fate and the tragic fate and we have two finished lines in our lives. If we choose the right way, make the right choices though sometimes it is really too hard, we will have our heart-warming and life-worth-living finish line, Our Meaningful Fate.
But when we chose the wrong way, we chose to be wrong, we chose to be blinded by the tears we have cried and the scars trials have left in our hearts, we will surely be destined to the tragic fate we never dreamed of. So don't be afraid to let go of that love in the meantime, and never be afraid too to fall in love in the first place, just follow your heart, just follow the song. But be on the right path that give beauty life.
Take note, I don't regret that I fell in love and got hurt, because I had felt the most beautiful feeling I have ever experienced in my life. Just do it when you feel it and leave it when there's more good reasons beyond it. But I do not know why I will always got tears when I am listening an Emotional Love Song.
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